Chapter 15 -- Lost Peacefully

 

Chapter 15

Lost Peacefully

I hope I made a best day for Sathya on our meet. Some semesters passed and I and Sathya were in same class after the second semester. Sathya and I had a good time on those times. I almost forgot about Arshitha. Being in same class made us much closer to each other. We discuss subjects often and she never talk about my ex-relationship on any day.

I always had a feel of love on her but I never showed it to her. She is so silent in the class. She used to talk to me, Balaji and with two girls named Meena and Reena, a twin sisters. Sathya had a limited circle. She used to spend most of the time with me than her friends and it was the same with me. At all break and lunch we eat together.

She used to take me to the Computer Science Department just to stalk Arshitha. Sathya will stand beside me and she will husk near my ears, “You girl is crossing, wave a hand”. Arshitha will wave hand at me if I waved as I was known face. Arshitha just waved at me and she walked away. Sathya held my hand and she teased me for waving hand at Arshi.

Sathya laughed as she thinks I love Arshi. I smiled on seeing her. Sathya loved things that I said her. She was still believing that I had crush on Arshi. I had a little thought at that moment what would Sathya react if I told her that she is the one I love the most.

I wished not to late anymore. One fine Friday, we both sat at a grassy place where usually students sit as couples. Some sit as group of friends too, but most of them were couples. In our college, everyone calls it Love Zone.

Sathya sat beside me with a side bent legs and rested her hand on the grass. I sat with stretched crossed legs and hands supported my body behind me.

“Sathya, see everyone are sitting as couples”, I stared the conversation.

“So what da, do you need me to bring Arshitha here?”

“It would be good if she was here, eyes need to see a beauty”

“Oh you have such desires uh?” she asked me.

“How could a boy resist seeing a girl at this lovely climate”

Sathya giggled.

“What is the joke here to laugh at?”

“I just imagined what you would do if Arshi was here”

“Imagined what?” I asked her.

“She will be sitting with her friends gang and you will be just sitting next to me and stalk her. She never gonna see you”

“Don’t talk rubbish, I am very romantic”

“Who said it?” Sathya asked and sat opposite to me. I folded my stretched legs.

“Jeni told me”

“Oh the girl who you fucked with”

“Don’t be rude”, I replied with little stress.

“Com on, make yourself comfortable with me in language too”
“I try too”

“You feel shy in talking with a girl uh?” Sathya pushed me a little with some laughter. I was not seemed to be a joke to me.

“Do you ever loved someone?” I asked her.

“No”, her voice went down.

“Why?” I asked and she replied, “I told you right my sister had a relationship and it disturbed me a lot”

“Yeah I remember but everyone might have a crush atleast don’t you?”

“I didn’t have crush on single person”, I smiled and added, “There were a lot”.

“Being bitchy!”

“Yuck! Just crushes idiot”

“Can I know some names from it?” I asked by moving a little near her forward.

“Any purpose on knowing it?” Sathya asked by moving a little backward. I didn’t had an answer for that but all I wished was to know if I was in the list and I also had a little possessiveness on knowing whom ever she liked. The names she was going to spell might be well known to me as we did both schooling and college together.

“Look Nithish”, she said, on her saying I said, “Looking already”.

“I didn’t have crush on many boys. But, particularly one”, Sathya made a pause and she continued, “He wish to have relationship with other girl and another girl has crush on him”

“Woah wait a moment, I am confused, COME AGAIN” I asked with a puzzled voice, she made herself ready to explain elaborately.

“Consider yourself, Arshitha, me and another girl”, Sathya started something, “Who is that other girl?”, I was curious in asking.

“We are just imagining the situation, consider it was Susan, was it okay?” She asked. I nodded.

“You have crush on Arshitha, I have crush on you but never said anyone. But Susan too have crush on you but she told me. Can you get it now? It is imaginary stuff just for explaining the situation”, Sathya made her statement with clear words. I nodded again.

“Do you think I could say him, I was in love with him?”

“Depends on the person. Point the person to me I say later”, I said. While I was saying someone stood beside me and I saw Balaji standing next to me. He was unusual on that day. Balaji asked me to have a private talk with him. I told nothing was private between me and Sathya. But, he insisted to talk alone. On half of the talk I got tensed and I walked straight to Sathya. “What you think yourself?” I yelled at her.

“I did nothing”, she replied with a fright voice. Sathya face shrunk with fear and she was almost freaking with fear.

“Balaji said me something”, I said.

“He told what?” she asked and made her look towards the place where Balaji was standing. He too seemed to be confused.

“He told that you love me”, I said in short words. I saw her little eye balls trembling slowing with a sorrowful look. “Did he said that?” Sathya murmured and added, “I am damn sure that he must not have told that”

“How you are sure about it?” I asked her.

“Because I didn’t and ever told him that I loved you”, She said. “Then you told whom?” I hurried my words and was very curious in hearing her reply.

“Just to my friend Meena”, she said and looked at me with a with a foolish look for revealing that she loved me indirectly without her knowledge. The pitiful face of Sathya smiled with whole happiness filled with shy. She was looking somewhere else but her smiles were pointing at me. On seeing my smile she understood that I too have interest over her. I fixed my eyes over her eyes without a distraction. She giggled and said, “Look some where else idiot”.

Balaji came near me with a blank face and asked, “Sathya are you okay with it?”

“I have told my part, now Nithish must say”, Sathya said by folding her lips inside her mouth, but smile was still there.

“Sathya, How could I resist seeing this smile? I also wish to see them everyday”, I said by bending my head a little down to catch her eyes within my eyes. She just moved her eyeballs and caught my eyes before I see her. I dropped a worst smile by expanding my mouth to my maximum.

“What you guys are speaking?” Balaji asked by rubbing his hair and added, “Sathya was Meena in a relationship?”

“What?” Sathya looked at him with an open mouth, turned to me and looked at me with the same open mouth then closed. Sathya asked me, “Nithish, What did Balaji asked you?”. I need to say her what he actually said me. I was bluffing Sathya just to know if she had interest over me.

“Sathya; Balaji wants to ensure that Meena was in relationship or not”, I said in low voice. Balaji looked at me and said, “Are you asking this to her just now?”. He sighed and started to speak with Sathya.

“Sathya, look. I wish to propose Meena, I cannot propose if she is in any relationship. You must not mistake me. I know you won’t but I had a fear so I asked Nithish. Don’t mistake me…..”, Balaji was continuing his conversation while I moved away from that place with the notebooks. I walked some distance and turned back. Balaji was throwing his hands and legs like a crying kid and Sathya was saying him something but her eyes were looking at me.

I raised the notebooks above and showed her. She found that the notebooks in my hand was her notebooks. Sathya hurried herself and picked my notebooks on the ground and said something to Balaji and walked towards me. I walked faster and turned back. She was calling my name aloud, “Nithish Nithish!”.

It was almost half and hour for six pm. The sky was getting little darker. The lights on the college roads were turned on at that moment. I stopped under a lamppost by leaning my back and my right foot backwards over it. She reached the place where I stood and she said, “I know you took my notebooks purposely. Give them back”.

“Why should I?” I asked

“It’s not the time to play give me my notebooks”

“Then when shall we play, after the night”, I said with a wink.

“You are very bad. Behave properly”, she extended her forefinger and tried to scold me. I laughed and she laughed at the end too. “Why you haven’t told me at first?”

“You too did’t. Usually boys will propose for girls”, she said with a low voice.

“Sathya I was asking why you haven’t told me that I mistook your notebooks. But you are speaking something irrelevant”

“Fraud! I know you well. Now it’s your turn to say”. I was silent and I gave her notebooks first and got mine from her next. While getting my notebooks. I rubbed her finger with my nails. She pulled her hand on which I rubbed the finger with a shy of touch and a smile.

On seeing her shyness. I felt something inside my stomach, I took a step forward to reach near her. I saw Sathya stood fixed at that place and expecting me to come much closer. I took one more step. I was standing opposite to her, the distance between me and Sathya was only one feet in and around. Her face shrunk at that moment and she was twisting her hand and wetting her lips often. I tried to move a little forward, She turned straight to me and looked into my eyes. She was shorter than me, so my shadows covered her. I moved a little back.

Sathya’s dusky cheeks looked smoother and shiny and her eyes are glowing with the reflection of the light. How could a boy resist kissing a girl at that place? If he was in relationship with her. I resisted myself from kissing her.

I leaned back to the post and stood at the posture I stood before. A silence remained between us for a short time. I didn’t why we were silent at that moment. I tried to speak but her glowing eyes forcing me to have a closer look. I was pulling myself backwards against the action of love over her. Sathya started the conversation, “So are we in”, she stopped and expected me to complete.

“We are in college”, I gave a boring and irritating reply. She took a step closer and said, “Do you think I am a nerd?”

“You were at the school, so you must be a nerd”, I replied. Sathya was not completely a nerd she was just a silent girl. I could see all her silence broke into loudness of love. She was very jovial at that moment. She took a step forward and asked, “You tried to kiss right?”

“I didn’t mean to”

“Try it, come on”, she said by moving a little forward. I wanted to kiss her but I could feel that she was kidding me at that moment. On her open talk, I became little nervous and hastened a little.

“Afraid?” Sathya asked and added, “Have you ever kissed?”

Should I say the truth or to lie, I was in a confusion. If Sathya asked this question when I was in the friend zone, I must have said YES. But now, I was confused. I have never had such a confusion ever, suddenly I replied, “NEVER”, in a dilemma.

“You never kissed a girl is it?” She inquired with a clear mind and she had a belief that I must have kissed Jeni. I was about say something but she interrupted, “I know you kissed Jeni”

I had a doubt that I never told much about Jeni to her. How she might have known? I asked, “How you know that?”

“So you kissed her, isn’t it?” She made an angry face. I didn’t know why was getting angry at that moment. She seemed like over reacting at that moment.

“Just once on her cheek and my relationship was ended because of it”, I hurried my words. Sathya came a little normal and came back to angry face. “Then why you told No when I asked”, she kept on questioning.

“I told that I never kissed you”, I thought I replied smartly. She smiled a little and came little forward and said, “You can reply ‘Always’ for that question from now”

“What about now?” I asked.

“Anytime you like”, she replied.

She was ready to get a kiss from me. Our relationship’s first kiss. I was very eager in kissing her for the first time and I could she the same eagerness from her too. Yes we were in a relationship without saying the slogan for love, “I LOVE YOU”. Our lips didn’t murmured that slogan but our eyes did already.

I bent my face a little and she chinned up. I extended my face near her smooth cheek, I could hear her breeze was heavy. She had a difficulty in breathing properly, it was not he usual breath. My face was very close to her face, my eyes were opposite to each others. My eyes were glowing in the reflection of her eyes.

She closed her eyes, it gave a sign of saying, ‘Enough Looking, Go ahead Faster’. I turned my head a little to side ways and scratched my cheeks with her from bottom of cheek to the top cheek by closing my eyes. She turned at the same direction and kissed my cheek.

I stood frozen at that place. I pulled backed my head. She giggled and folded her lips within her mouth. She pulled my notebooks from my hand and she gave her notebooks to me and she walked away. Then she was expecting me to follow her. I smiled and I was running to my hostel room. I could not control my legs from dancing so I made my legs to run faster and faster. I had never run at that speed. I could not feel the tired and sweat on me. The kiss she gave remained inside me.

In my room, I was filled with joy. I hadn’t told any one about my relationship with my friends not even with Madhu and Susan too. I was just happy at that moment. I took my mobile and called her. The ring went up, I laid over my bed by placing the pillow sideways with the mobile between ears and pillow.

She attended the call. I talked in a very low voice that no one in the room could hear me. She asked me to wait a moment and I was waiting in the call. She was talking to someone in her room and she asked that person to take off the cloths for laundry. Then, she came back to the call.

Hii… [She said with a lovely tone]

[I said]I love you

Hey, what are you thinking?

Yes, I love you

But, I don’t have any idea of having a relationship

Then what about the kiss you gave

You didn’t gave me till

I wish too

Then why you didn’t

Something resisting you uh?

NO Sathya No

I expected a hug at that moment

Seriously?

Yeah, why should I be shy in asking a hug

From a person I love

[I smiled]

What about a movie tomorrow

Movie? No No

Why?

My friends told me that movies

are not good this week

That’s what we need

Aii, naughty

Someone asked for a hug

so, I thought of giving it

No hugs at public places

Was college a private place?

We are alone at that time so I wished too

Okay why can’t we go for a movie

Are we hastening in our relationship

I don’t think so

Okay we can go

Call me tomorrow

Okay

I hung the call and waited for the day, I later realized I hadn’t asked for the show. Usually, I prefer for the evening show but that day I wished to go for matinee show. I chose it as Sathya was with me. I was very excited in going for the movie with her.

The next day showed up. I was ready for the movie, I well dressed and I used my room mate’s AXE body spray. I combed my hair and re-combed more than 10 times. I was getting myself ready at the morning for the matinee show.

Everyone in my room was confused and as I never got ready to that much. They asked me where I was going. I told I was going to visit my friend after a long time. I hid my relationship from them even at that point.

I was roaming in the veranda, here and there. A call came for me, it was from Sathya. I eagerly took the call. She asked me to come down from hostel and she wished to speak something. I had a fear that she might refuse to come for the movie. But, I convinced myself to be positive at that moment.

Sathya was standing outside my hostel gate. She was standing in the same place like a statue and she was looking something on the ground. I walked to her by waving my hand. She saw me getting well dressed and she smiled.

“We are going for movie right?” I asked.

“Nithish, I want to say you something”, she said.

“Not interested in going for a movie or any of your friends joining movie?” I asked.

“No it’s not like that, I got a call at the morning nearly to six”, she struggled with words.

“Just speak what you wished to”, I encouraged her words.

“Do you remember Reshmi?”

“Yeah, your sister right?”

“Yes, we were talking in social media. I was texting her like texting some random UNKNOWN Facebook friend”

“It hurts”, I said with a pity tone.

“Her husband, called me today and told that she got a baby boy”, Sathya burst into tears. I could not guess if it is tears of joy or tears of sadness. I could feel that Sathya was happy to hear that but she was sad for not being there at this time.

“I think, I am not in good mood to go for a movie with you as I promised”, she murmured with teary voice and added, “Sorry, but if you wish to go for a movie I can just accompany”.

If I took her to the movie later, then I am the real devil in the world. I asked, “Where is she? I mean where was your sister admitted”

“She is at Chennai and I don’t know the hospital”, Sathya said in a low voice. I asked her to ask the name of the hospital.

“Do you think you can take me there?” she asked. I replied, “Do you feel comfortable to come with me?”

She smiled at me with a crying eyes and said, “You are the only one I trust in this college to the most”. That one word could make me to do anything for her at that moment.

I told, we can go through bus this night and we can reach Chennai at early morning. She nodded and she told that she will mark her leave in hostel and she will come join me at evening. I took the responsibility to book tickets.

I came back to room and told my room mates that I am going out for 1 day. They were confused and Harish asked me, “Going home?”

“Kinda”, I said and packed a dress in my bag along with bathing towel, soap and tooth brush.

Harish insisted, “Something Fishy”, he smelt something odd from me. I wished to say the truth but Sathya may not like sharing much with others. So, I kept calm. “I am going Chennai to see my friend, he got some issues in relationship. So he calls me. By the way both the boy and the girl are my best friends so I need to be there”.

“Okay buy snacks while you are coming”, Yogi said by rubbing he head. I gave a stupid look over him and walked away.

I tried to book tickets in the bus, but I could find no seats together. So I booked the tickets in different corners. I wished to sit next to her, but no seats were available. The combined seats are available on return tickets.

The sun fall and the moon is on the sky, I was late at that time. She was waiting for me already. I thought she would scold me for being late but she said nothing. We both applied leave at hostel and we were going Chennai to meet her sister. I told her that we had seats at different corner and I asked her to be safe. Then, I asked if she asked her sister for the hospital name.

On the way to bus stand, Sathya said, “Reshmi doesn’t know that I was coming”

“You must have told her”, I insisted.

“No, I am going to meet her after a very very long time. I wish to see how she looks at me when I stand in front of her”

How sweet Sathya was? I thought myself. I asked, “Sathya what would you do if your father was already there?”

Her smiling face shrunk and she told, “He didn’t even know about it. I asked Reshmi to convey to him but she refused”. I simply nodded.

“What you told to your room mates?” I asked.

“Just going to see my sister”, She said. I added, “Did you mentioned that you are coming with me?”

She replied, “Yes, they all know that I like you but they never know about our relationship. I think tonight they may get a doubt regarding it”. I giggled.

We reached bus stand and we found the bus we need to board. We both occupied the seats we booked for. She was traveling with me but she was at little distance. I occupied a seat at back side while she was at middle.

She turned a lot and she was looking at me several times. I smiled for every time she turned back. I was not tired in smiling and she was not tired in turning back. I slept without my knowledge.

The sunlight woke me and I saw Sathya was sitting next to me. “How did you came here?” I asked. “The person next to you got down before two stops”.

“Where are we?” I asked her.

“Someone said, PERUNGULAUR I think”, she said with a doubted tone. I could see an excitement in her eyes to meet her sister.

I made a call for Madhu. He was studying at Chennai. I was amazed as he took the call at the first call itself.

Yes Bro

Madhu, I am at Chennai

What? Why?

To meet you

Don’t lie

Okay I need to go for a hospital in Tambaram

I am in bus now

Where are you currently?

Perungulaur

Idiot, its Perungalathur

What ever, when will I reach Tambaram

The next stop

Where are you living?

At Guindy

Was that far?

No use train, it will be faster

okay bye call you sooner

“Thank God, you woke me. Our stop is the next”, I said with a sleepy voice. “I know it already”, Sathya said with a smiling face. “How?” I confused. She said, “I too have some friends”, with a smile.

The bus stopped and we got down. We inquired about the hospital and we got an auto and reached the destination. She paid the auto and I stopped her and told auto driver to wait for 5 minutes and walked into the hospital.

Sathya and myself walked to the reception and checked the patient named Reshmi. They gave a room number. Sathya was very happy to see her sister. She said, “Come let’s go”, by holding my hand. I freed my arm from her hand and said, “Sathya you go and stay with your sister. I will be with Madhu”

“Don’t you wish to meet my sister?” Sathya asked. I replied, “I think it is not the right time to meet her, just go and call me when you are ready to go”. She nodded with a sad face.

I moved from that place and got back to the auto and went to Railway Station and got a sub urban train. I was with Madhu that day, I told him about Sathya and her sister. He had a little doubt about my relationship with her. I just told him that I had crush on Sathya. He asked me to look after her safely as Sathya trusted me a lot.

That day was very slow even Madhu was with me. He took me to a Mall named Express Avenue. We spent whole day inside the mall, just by eating and roaming. He took care of all my expenses at Mall and told it was his treat.

Evening fall, a call came from Sathya and she asked me to come and she was waiting at bus stop. I waved bye to Madhu and went back to the bus stand where we need to board the bus.

She was standing with a girl, I am not sure about her. Sathya saw me and pointed me to that girl. Sathya introduced her to me as Sona. I later came to know that she was also my school mate. We climbed over our bus and we are ready to go. Sona gave a send off to us. Sathya was sitting near the window and I was next to her.

“Reshmi sent her hubby to send me safely”, Sathya said to me. “Where was he?” I questioned.

“How could I say him that I was with a boy. So, I told that I was with my friend Sona. I called her, she came. On her arrival he went back to hospital”, she giggled.

“You are insane”, I said in a low voice.

“You are in same”, she said with a biting teeth face. It was cute enough. That day there was a hand rest between me and she, it was very little in breath and it was almost fitted to her hand. She placed her hand over it already. I took her hand, placed my hand over the arm rest and placed her hand over mine. She smiled and said, “Thank you so much”

“Is that for giving my arm for resting?” I tried a bad joke. She drop a cute smile for that bad joke and said, “For everything”. By saying she folded the arm rest and twisted the arm around mine and she was holding with both arms.

I was completely frozen and I was feeling goosebumps over my hand. It made me to move my body, but I fixed my body at the same position. The bus moved she curled like a worm and she leaned over my shoulders. She said again, “Thank you so much”.

“It’s okay Sathya”, I smoothed her curled hair and patted her shoulders.

“I LOVE YOU”, she said by raising her little head to me. I was not expecting that little words from that little voice at that time. I threw my hands around her and said, “I LOVE YOU TOO”.

She slept with a peace and I slept peacefully as she was sleeping peacefully. I wished to have this peace forever. I just liked Sathya at first, then she looked beautiful for me. I didn’t know how I fall for her but I know I loved her. I could see the beauty of her inside the heart so that entire Sathya is looking beautiful for me. We lost peacefully within our hearts.

Sathya was not so attractive at the very first day I saw, but she is very very attractive on that day. I could see her beauty is growing up everyday as deeper I was going inside her heart. I felt my self responsible to keep her safe from that moment. I made my heart to make her safe at any circumstance.